


Broken

by CynicalMistrust



Series: The Pattern of Feathers [9]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Bottom Dean, Broken Dean, Caring Castiel, Dean gets hot for Castiel's commanding voice, Dom/sub Undertones, Domestic, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, POV Castiel, Smut, Top Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-23
Updated: 2015-09-23
Packaged: 2018-04-23 00:21:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4856147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CynicalMistrust/pseuds/CynicalMistrust
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>~Part 9 of Pattern of Feathers~</p><p>Sam, Dean, and Cas have been through a lot together. Now that things have settled down and they are no longer faced with a choice between their lives or the world, maybe they can start to put their lives back together again.</p><p>~"You don't back down from a fight. You refuse to be a pawn to any but yourself. You are quite possibly the most infuriating, stubborn human in existence, and all of that only drives me to care for you more." ~</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken

Cas awoke with a soft groan, his body heavy and his mouth dry, but the headache was gone. He rolled into a sitting position and glanced around, hissing in surprise as his feet landed on the cold floor. He found his socks and pulled them back on before wandering the halls. The bunker was quiet, but he could hear the faint echo of Dean humming and followed it to the kitchen.

Dean looked up from the stove when Cas entered. "How's the head?"

"Better." Cas stopped by the fridge, crossing his arms as he leaned against it to watch Dean cook. He wasn't sure what was in the pan, but it didn't look healthy in the least. He glanced back up at Dean. "Thank you."

Dean spared him a quick glance. "For what?"

"For... caring for me." He couldn't think of another way to phrase it that wouldn't make Dean uncomfortable.

Dean shook his head, reaching for a half-empty bottle of beer. "Someone's gotta help you get used to being human."

"I was human for a while before and did fine."

Dean stared at the pan on the stove, mixing whatever was inside it. "Yeah well, this time you don't have to go it alone."

Cas tilted his head, smiling as he pushed away from the fridge and leaned into Dean's back, resting his hands on Dean's hips. He didn't miss the way Dean raised an eyebrow at him over his shoulder and pressed a light kiss to the back of Dean's neck. Dean didn’t often say the words ‘I’m sorry’ but Dean at least was easy for him to understand, and he could tell when Dean was feeling guilty over something he shouldn’t feel guilty for. "I don't need an apology, Dean." He felt the way the other male tensed and brushed another few kisses along his neck until he let out a loud sigh.

"Doesn't mean you don't deserve one," Dean said, voice just above a whisper.

Cas slipped his arms around Dean's waist and squeezed. "Thank you." He shifted to look around Dean's shoulder at the stove. "What are you making?"

"Mash."

Cas sighed, knowing Dean knew that didn't mean anything to him. "And what is mash?"

Dean laughed and turned the burner off. "Beef, potatoes, and onions. With plenty of butter, salt, and garlic."

"Would Sam eat it?" If he was going to be human, he wanted to take care of his body.

"A little, maybe," Dean said with a shrug.

Cas released Dean's waist when he reached for plates in the cupboard. "Is there any peanut butter?"

Dean slanted him a look that bordered on a glare. "What? No. C'mon man, I made a hot meal, you don't gotta eat PB&J."

Cas tilted his head, about to protest that he enjoyed peanut butter and grape jelly now that he could taste it again, but the look on Dean's face made him hold his tongue. "Okay..."

"Okay." Dean scooped out half the mash onto a plate and the rest onto another. "Let's eat."

Cas grabbed a glass of water and followed Dean to the table, staring at the plate a moment before taking a small bite. It was surprisingly tasty and he took a larger bite before glancing up, finding Dean watching him with an expectant look.

"Eh? Good, right?"

"It's tasty." Cas smiled when Dean grinned in genuine pleasure, watching him eat between his own bites. "Did Sam go somewhere?"

"Went to help out a hunter on a case. He'll be back in a few days." Dean glanced up with a smirk. "Wanna have sex on his bed while he's gone?"

"I don't think Sam would appreciate that."

Dean's smirk widened as he sat back in his seat. "Sam doesn't have to know."

Cas finished the last bite of his food and studied Dean, unsure why he would want to have sex in Sam's bed when he had a perfectly good bed in his own room. "Why?"

Dean let out an exasperated sigh, picking up their plates to dump them in the sink. "Because that's what brothers do."

"Have sex in each others' beds...?" Cas was even more confused.

"What? No... no, I just mean..." Dean fell silent, leaning against the sink for several heartbeats, finally turning to lean back against it to face Cas. "I just mean, we used to pull pranks and shit on each other all the time. We haven't done that in years. It's... something the old me would do."

Cas tilted his head and stayed in his seat. "Do you not like the new you?"

Dean tensed, looking anywhere but at Cas. "I'm broken, Cas." His voice was almost inaudible, rough at the edges, his knuckles turning white where they gripped the counter. "Maybe I've always been broken."

"That just makes you more beautiful."

A harsh laugh escaped Dean's throat and he shook his head. "Don't wax poetic on me."

"I'm not..." Cas stood and moved to stand in front of Dean. "I was broken, Dean, I remember what that feels like. But..." He paused and waited for Dean to look at him, holding his gaze. "But I also remember what your soul looks like. Bright, pure. Splintered in places, perhaps, but... no less of a soul because of it."

Dean's throat worked as he swallowed hard a few times. "I'm always screwing things up. I was a _demon_ , Cas. How can my soul still be pure? It'd be black as night by now."

Cas sighed and leaned closer, pressing his lips above Dean's pulse on his neck. "It doesn't work like that. You're too hard on yourself, Dean." He pulled back, reaching for Dean's wrist and tugging him away from the sink. He lead Dean towards the bedrooms, debating on going for Sam's room, but deciding against it and pulling Dean into his own room instead.

"Cas..."

Cas turned and pressed his fingers over Dean's lips. "If you're feeling broken, maybe I can put you back together." He ignored the confused look and pulled his fingers away, focusing on removing Dean's clothing piece by piece. There was no hurry in his movements and he spent several long minutes once Dean was naked letting his hands caress and smooth their way over the bared flesh. "Lie on your stomach," he said, voice soft, commanding, a mere echo of the authority he'd once been able to summon as an angel, but it was enough to get the message across.

Dean sucked in a breath and stepped toward the bed, stretching out on his stomach. His hands pushed under his pillow and he rested his cheek on top, breathing deep and letting it out in a long sigh.

Cas smiled and retrieved the oil he'd gotten with Sam's advice a few weeks before. He climbed onto the bed and settled himself over Dean's thighs, pouring a generous amount of oil over his back. "You are not broken, Dean Winchester," he said in the same low voice, feeling Dean's muscles twitch beneath his fingers as he smeared the oil in. "Everything you've done you've done out of love for your brother, or in an attempt to help others, or to save humanity."

"Cas, that's not-"

"Quiet." Cas moved his hand to Dean's hip and gripped it tight, pleased at the startled look and way Dean snapped his mouth shut. "You have selflessly sacrificed yourself a hundred times over, giving up who you are, what you could be." His hands slid over Dean's back again, digging his fingers into the tight muscles, Dean's soft sighs guiding his movements. "You carry the weight of a hundred losses and a thousand guilts and regrets. You shoulder the burden and memories of Hell and Purgatory and Heaven and your soul bears the marks of all your deaths."

Dean made a strangled sound that could have been a sob, closing his eyes and pressing his face into his pillow.

Cas shifted, pouring fresh oil into his hands before sliding them down to rub over Dean's ass and thighs. "All of those scars and all that weight does not mean you are broken, Dean Winchester. It means you are strong enough to live a life that would kill a regular man. You are brave enough and honorable enough and kind enough to continue sacrificing and fighting for what you believe is a just cause."

He was sure Dean was making soft noises into his pillow and not all of them were driven by desire, but he continued his ministrations, nudging Dean's legs apart, stroking along the inners and backs of his thighs. "You don't back down from a fight. You refuse to be a pawn to any but yourself. You are quite possibly the most infuriating, stubborn human in existence, and all of that only drives me to care for you more." He leaned down, grazing his teeth against Dean's flesh in gentle bites, spreading his cheeks and sliding his thumb along the crevice between, rubbing at his entrance.

Dean's moans were now definitely full of arousal, deep groans muffled by the pillow as his hips pushed back. He slid his legs further apart and braced his weight on his knees, rocking back into the fingers.

Cas smiled against the small of Dean's back, pushing a finger into him and admiring the curve of his back as Dean arched, lifting his head from the pillow with a sweet cry of need. He worked another finger into Dean, intending to get the man off with a hand on his cock and just his fingers, but Dean's pleas shattered that plan.

"Cas. Please. Need you. Now. _Please_ , Cas."

Cas pulled his hands away, pushing the sweats he wore down enough to free himself and slick himself up with oil before gripping Dean's hips. He leaned forward, pressing his lips along Dean's spine as he pushed inside.

Dean arched further, shoving his hips back and taking Cas in deep before letting his head fall forward with a ragged breath.

Cas slid his hands along Dean's back, reaching his shoulders and giving in to the desire to keep Dean under his control. He pressed Dean down into the mattress and pillow, holding him there as he leaned over Dean, biting and kissing along his back and neck. "I sacrificed more than you could ever know for you, Dean," he said, pressing his lips to Dean's ear. "And I would do it again, without hesitation, if it meant I could ease your pain." He shifted his hips in a slow circle, pulling out and sliding back in, wanting Dean to feel every inch of him.

Dean shuddered and gasped beneath Cas, hands gripping the covers as he tried to struggle against the hold. "Cas," he said, voice choked and raw. "Cas, please."

"You're not broken, Dean." Cas slid a hand to Dean's hair, stroking along the back of his neck. "Say it."

"Cas-"

"Say it." His voice was sharp and he soothed the sting of it with a shallow thrust of his hips.

Dean's voice hitched and he shuddered again, arching up against Cas as much as he could. "I... I _am_ broken, Cas..." he said in a whisper, closing his eyes tight.

Cas pressed his forehead into Dean's back. "You're not... I wish you could see yourself through my eyes, Dean." He slipped his hand under Dean's hip, tugging him up and back as he moved faster. He curled his hand around Dean's dick, stroking in time with his thrusts. It took longer than usual for Dean to near his orgasm, but Cas was nothing if not patient, building the pleasure and praying he hadn't made things worse. It caused him physical pain knowing Dean felt that way and would likely take years to heal, if he ever did. With the life he lead, he might not.

He groaned when he felt Dean tightening around him, shifting his hips in demand for more. Cas obliged, sitting back so he could push deeper, angling his hips to find the spot that always drove Dean into coming undone.

Dean choked out a scream as Cas hit his prostate, pressing his face into his pillow before lifting his head as Cas found it again. "Cas! Cas, please. _Castiel!_ " His body shuddered and he thrust his hips between Cas' hand and dick, hands clenching into fists in the covers as his orgasm swept over him.

Cas gave a shout as Dean clenched down around him, giving a few more deep thrusts and milking the last of Dean's orgasm from him before he followed him over the edge. He sucked in deep breaths as he shifted, keeping his hands on Dean as he stretched out next to him, tugging him back to put Dean's back to his chest. He pressed his lips against the rapid pulse at Dean's throat. "Dean."

"Shut up, Cas," Dean said, voice rough.

Cas sighed, but couldn't keep the words back. "Meant every word."

Dean's breathing hitched and he slumped into Cas' chest. "I know."

Cas tugged the covers over their legs, keeping his arms wrapped around Dean and coaxing him into sleep. It wasn't until Dean's breathing evened out and he relaxed completely that Cas spoke again. "I love you, you pain in the ass."

 


End file.
